BREAKING: Notre Dame Gives Up, Agrees to Hold All Arvo Classes at the Beach

Notre Dame University has agreed to hold all arvo classes at South Beach after 0 first years, only 2 second years, and a weird cohort of mature-age students actually rocked up today.

It seems the mandatory Theology unit’s lecture was less appealing than getting some sun at South Beach down the road on this banger of a day. A spokesperson for Notre Dame told The Times,

“Clearly, people would rather frolic in paradise than learn about the virtues of Catholic education. How rude! Sometimes we just have to go with the will of the people so all our lecturers will be heading down themselves for a little seaside teaching. It’s that or talk to an empty room”

We spoke to Sophie who had been working on the perfect hotdogs or legs photo all morning. She told The Times,

“29 hits different when you’re still technically in winter. I physically wasn’t able to resist hitting the beach. I tried to drive into uni but my arms instinctively pulled the Mini Cooper wheel in the beach direction. Forgive me I am weak”

Naturally, the group of mature-age students who rocked up are outraged by the call. Seeing as they are all dressed in classic mature-aged attire like trousers and general office wear. A leader of the cohort told The Times,

“We finally had the lecturer all to ourselves. We were going to break her down today. A barrage of well thought out mature aged questions from every angle. Now we’ll have to live life to the max down at some stunning beach”

Well done Notre Dame on the right call.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?