Home BREAKING NEWS REPORT: boyfriends of Instagram getting absolutely reamed today

REPORT: boyfriends of Instagram getting absolutely reamed today

Any sunny day can be a hectic time in the life of a spineless camera-carrying organism but especially a sunny day in winter. Today has been a reckoning for them. 

Boyfriends of Instagram all across the city have woken up to hear the news that their days have been completely planned around their princess’ need to get as much content as possible before the weekend. 

We spoke to Matt who has lived up to his name being walked all over today. He told The Times,

“My queen got me up at 7 am. Said they had to get out to the wildflowers in Araluen early so they could be free around lunch for the beach photoshoot. Hehe, she’s so fierce when she’s got content on her mind, told me if I was eating breakfast too slow and she’d leave me if we didn’t get moving”

Matt enjoyed a long morning of taking photos and then being berated for not capturing her good side in said photos. A chicken dance he knows all too well. 

Similarly, we spoke to Adam who says the only thing he likes more than taking thirst trap photos is to see all her male followers enjoy them. He told The Times,

“I had a day off so I was really hoping to catch up with my mates for some beers in the sun but my soulmate had other ideas. Some would call that a shit day but we got lots of content for her OnlyFans previews. So who’s winning?”

With an estimated 2.5 hours more sun, there can be no doubt the afternoons of these malleable-kings aren’t going to be a walk in the park. 

Nevertheless, the thirst community of Instagram thanks them for their service. 

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