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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Sunday, November 02, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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WA Culture & Notable Events

Mrs Supermoon

Belle April 28, 2021

Doreen’s expectations for the pink Supermoon were sky high, so she loaded up the “didn’t pull out-mobile” and drove her family to the Rockingham Foreshore.…

View More Mrs Supermoon
From the Zoo

Donothan v. Mortal Kombat Aussie Casting Call

Belle April 26, 2021

Tiffeaknee yells out to Donothan, “babe they need staunchcunts for the new Mortal Kombat movie”. Donothan has been waiting for this moment. To prepare for…

View More Donothan v. Mortal Kombat Aussie Casting Call
From the Zoo BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown

Belle April 24, 2021

There’s nothing quite like pitching a tent in your backyard to keep the crotch goblins off your god damn back because the camping trip to…

View More IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: People to Avoid at the Supermarket

Belle April 24, 2021

On a wrong day, going to your local supermarket can make storming the shores of Normandy with a seasick squadron seem like a picnic at…

View More IN FOCUS: People to Avoid at the Supermarket
From the Zoo

So, you want to be a Sovereign Citizen, ay?

Belle April 22, 2021

Defence lawyers hate them! Because sovereign citizen’s reckon they’ve found a way to avoid criminal prosecution without the need for expensive legal fees! Just tell…

View More So, you want to be a Sovereign Citizen, ay?
Perth & WA Locations

Mrs Garden City

Belle April 22, 2021 MummyShopping

After dropping off her silver spoonlings to her mother’s for the day, Amanda heads towards the Claremont Quarter of the South: Garden City. She finds…

View More Mrs Garden City

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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