Last night, the WA Police attempted to arrest a Belmont man in connection to a room out the back of his house where he was allegedly cultivating a significant quantity of the green herb.
At approximately 8:45 pm, police attended the man’s residence and raided the man’s house. After securing the evidence, he was advised he was now under arrest and gave him the usual warnings. It was a normal arrest until they took him outside.
“Shit hit the fan”, A spokesperson for the WA Police said when the suspect spotted the chariot that awaited him – a fkn Skoda. A witness at the scene told The Times,
“He was fairly chill until then. Just exercising his right to silence but as soon as he saw a Skoda he kicked off. Started saying there was no fkn chance he was getting in that and if they wanted to arrest a real man they should bring a real man’s car”
Police on the scene tried to reason with the man, stating that the Skoda was actually an excellent police mobile and to “grow up”. He sat down, demanded his lawyer, and told them he’ll go in a Commodore or he won’t go at all.
Believing his client had a good case, his lawyer raced down to the scene to advise the police that putting a bogan in a Skoda could contravene human rights. Adding,
“He’s an old school crim. He’s used to a standard of police wagon and that ain’t it. Even recognising a Skoda exists contravenes his religion basically. What next? You going to make him get into a Tesla?”
It took 7 police, 2 tasers and a whole canister of pepper spray to get the man into the Skoda. At which point he broke down asking them just to put him out to pasture there and then. Adding,
“If the boys inside find out I was taken down by a Skoda I’m done. May as well be a rock spider inside. I ain’t going out like that. At least get one of those Hilux’s down”
His lawyer advises us that he has plans to make a complaint about the arrest and reserves all his rights.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?