News of a “weed” in bags of NSW spinach causing “hallucinations” has rocked the east coast of Australia. As reports flow in of people experiencing symptoms after eating the greenery some in WA are feeling like they are missing out on the party.
Local Shaman and South Freo van enthusiast, Adam aka Chakradam as he calls himself is one such man. After hearing the reports, he was left with no other option than to “crowd-sourced” some petrol money and make a dash for NSW before the recall had been fully completed.
He almost completed the mission too. Being intercepted coming back into WA this morning with 300 bags of Costco spinach. We can report that he’d consumed several bags before reaching the border checkpoint and his intense sweating gave the game away.
A spokesperson for Western Australia Police said they had “anticipated” this scenario and had got their dogs onto the scent of cob loaf leading up to the arrest. Adding,
“Trust me, ricotta and spinach is the exact smell profile of a filthy hippie coming into WA with a trunk full of the green. Our dogs were onto this guy so quick it made his tie-dye headband spin”
A resident at a Hami Hill hippie nest and unwilling donor of $20 to Charkradam’s mission via a sneaky wallet raid told The Times,
“Chakradam cancelled this week’s drumming circles. He told us that an earth force was telling him he needed to head east on a mystical journey. We all knew he was going to load up on those spinach bags and frankly, we were all rooting for him”
Similarly, Chakradam’s currently “coupled soulmate” sold 3 yoni-candles to fund her man’s journey. Telling The Times,
“It’s the perfect time, we’ve smashed through last winter’s shroomies and I need some time to get over the last toxic passing that Chakradam’s grounding stick passed onto my lady cave. He said without been burdened by the human need for sleep he can get the mission done in 4 days”
Chakradam was arrested on the scene and is awaiting charges following a full medical appraisal. After all, he’d eaten 10 bags.
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