Perth mum forced to abandon school pick-up after spotting another mum wearing the same Lululemon ensemble

Samantha, a mum from Mosman Park, has been forced to turn around and go back home from school pick-up after seeing another mummy wearing the exact same spring catalogue Lululemon gear that she chose for today’s pick-up.

Sadly, her children hadn’t made it to the car before her shock realisation and had to wait an extra 20 minutes for their mother to return. Although when she did she looked fresh. A witness told The Times,

“You have to understand that this wasn’t just any mum rocking the exact same activewear as her, it was somewhat of a rival. There was just no way she was going to play second fiddle to her and the kids were unfortunate collateral damage”

Defiantly claiming she had no regrets, Samantha told The Times that she wouldn’t be caught dead rudely holding up school pick-up while she chatted to her friends in the same activewear as that gold-digging Valium addict. Adding,

“I am the main event. You see this arse? That’s 4 hours of stair walking every day and school pick-up is my catwalk. So yes, I turned around to go back home and get changed. Why can’t you understand it was an emergency?”

A male teacher who likes to supervise the school pick-up madness said he understood Samantha’s circumstances and was more than happy to wait with her kids until she came back. Adding,

“Oh yeah, no problem, anything to make sure Samantha gets the validation that her absent husband isn’t giving her. She came back in a big way too. Bright pink! There weren’t so many people there but all the unloved kids left waiting were impressed”

After getting back from the second attempt at the school pick-up Samantha decided to hit the local community group and make a vague, passive-aggressive post about how inconsiderate some mothers are during the afternoon rush.

You are certainly the winner of today, Samantha.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?