Treasurer Politely Asks Twiggy To Stop Messaging Him Saying “You’re Welcome” For Budget Surplus

Jimbo and Albo have apparently had a gutful of WA mining magnate Twiggy taking credit for the $4.2B budget surplus. They have gone so far as to formally request the billionaire refrain from sending any more messages to that effect. 

A source close to the Albo Government told The Times that Jim initially thanked Twiggy and the entire WA mining sector but is now leaving the man “on seen”. Adding,

“You know what Twiggy is like, he gets on the Harvey Beef prime cuts and gets those fingers texting. He messaged Jim Chalmers at 3 am in the morning to ask him ‘u up?’ and ‘what dat surplus do?’ It’s really not the behaviour of a respected businessman”

By all reports, the barrage of messages hasn’t eased, with the Twigmeister getting up extra early to launch today’s assault on the ALP’s inboxes. A source close to Twiggy told The Times,

“Look, we all know where Australia’s money has come from and Twiggy just doesn’t want that little fact to be lost in the noise. He’s happy for the ALP to celebrate their surplus but he’d also like a giant iron ore statue of himself erected in Canberra. In fact, that was the subject matter of this morning’s texts and emails”

Naturally, the Eastern States don’t want to admit WA saved their hides so Labor ministers have been instructed to play it all down. This is expected to only get Twiggy friskier. 

At the time of publishing this article, we understand that Twiggy has sent Parliament House a large rugby-shaped cake with “YOU’RE WELCOME” written in icing. 

Classic Twiggy. 

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