Mining billionaire Andrew “Twiggy” Forrest has flown into a rage after the news Rinehart acquired a controlling stake in the iconic Bunbury Farmers Market.
Never one to be outdone, Twiggy is considering buying the Dunsborough BWS which is traditionally the second stop the Perth crowd makes on their journey Douth.
A source close to the Twigmeister told The Times,
“They call it the Prado brick road and it always leads to gold. It would be a toss-up whether Perth people spent more at the farmer’s market in Bunbury or on piss when they get to Dunsborough. Either way, you need to corner that market”
We understand that if the BWS purchase goes ahead, it will create an “arms race” between the two mining magnates to snap up as much Douth real estate as possible.
Iconic businesses such as Caves House, the Dunsborough Bakery, Simmos are all likely to receive lucrative offers as the two billionaires battle for the “most Aussie” title they want so badly.
A Perth resident and Douth enthusiasts said he wasn’t sure he wanted hundreds of his dollars flowing into big minings hands every time he went down south but conceded he wouldn’t change his consumer behaviour. Adding,
“It’s just the way I was raised. Fresh produce in Bunbury and then a few cartons in Dunsborough. I could use the other joint but sometimes a bloke just needs a drive through after a 2.5 hour drive”
We can also report that Twiggy is in talks with a local brewer to pump out Twiggy Lager. A beer that he describes as a ridgy didge, Aussie battler brew (just like himself, he reckons).
We can only wait to see who claims the title of King or Queen of Douth. Both parties certainly have the resources.
And thanks to Perth’s insatiable need to go Down South, there will be plenty of spoils that flow to the victor.
Fight!
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