WA tourist living off Maccas & 30 Bintangs a day blames Balinese hygiene standards for his horrendous irregularity

A Western Australian man has once again refused to take any accountability for the horror shows he’s leaving in the toilet 7 times a day during his holiday in Kuta.

Living off a steady diet of 30 Bintangs, mushie shakes, pharmacy treats, and late-night Maccas, the man says that these “3rd world countries” really need to pick up their standards so he stops spraying bowls with the force of recently unkinked garden hose. Adding,

“I mean do these people even wash their hands before preparing food? Not that I really eat any of that shit, you just can’t trust ‘em. I don’t brush my teeth over here either because that’s how they get ya”

We spoke to Todd’s travel partner that has been begging him to get a yoghurt acai bowl in to do something about the hell-pit of bacteria his digestive system has become. He told The Times,

“Mate, the smells coming out of that guy could strip paint off a wall. He keeps saying it’s not his fault and that the Balinese has no hygiene standards but his diet is not conducive to good gut health. I just want him to eat some yoghurt so I don’t gag every time every time he sharts like walking down the road”

Nevertheless, Todd maintains that his dietary choices are in no way related to what’s happening in the back end of his work shop.

Playing Devil’s Advocate, we asked Todd why so many others could enjoy delicious Balinese cuisine and not leave every toilet looking like an explosion at the Yogo factory. He told The Times,

“Mate, you see this rig? I’m a finely tuned machine built for performance. Anything off in me fuel and you’ll notice instantly”

Right Todd, right.

RELATED: WA holiday spots overwhelmed by rowdy Balinese tourists

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