A proud Flagyalup fan has seen all he needs to see this afternoon after the boys sealed a clutch victory at the G against Naarm. So sure that it will be Flagyalup 2023, he’s decided to profit from the foregone conclusion.
After putting his life savings into the usual bookies he was still craving more. After all, a premiership was guaranteed after this 7-point victory after 3 on the trot so he’d be a fkn idiot not to go hard.
So he contacted a less scrupulous bookie who specialised in taking unorthodox bets. He told The Times,
“What kind of father would wager his firstborn son’s kidneys and assorted other organs? A father that backs the boys and the footy club 110%, that’s who. Did you see that? WE’RE BACK, BABY”
We spoke to the underworld bookie who said he’d had several Flagyalup fans enquire about big, organ related bets. He told The Times,
“I’ve never seen someone so sure of a bet. I told him that the boys organs will be ours and if we have to come looking we’ll scorch his house to the ground. He just smirked and asked if he got knock up the misso and put a future son’s organs on the table too”
We spoke to the mother of the potential organ donor who said she had also done that maths and there was simply no chance Flagyalup would not get the silverware this year. She told The Times,
“Normally I think my hubby makes stupid bets but this is one of the best ones he has ever made. That bookie value the payout at $20,000. What could possibly go wrong? Bray and Serong working magic in the mid, Amiss not missing and our lord & saviour Fyfe back in the thick of it”
Best of luck to the family, although they clearly won’t need it.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
