Unemployed Influencer Quietly Confident No One Is Questioning How She’s Funding Lavish Euro Trip

An influencer who hasn’t worked in a traditional sense since a Kookai outlet disagreed with her “vibe” in 2015 has announced her plans for another lavish euro trip to her followers. 

In the unsolicited life update, the influencer was gushing over her plans to hop around the Greek islands, sail Croatia and backstage VIP passes to gigs in Ibiza. It’s truly the lifestyle of somebody who has “made it”. 

The only problem is, objectively she hasn’t made it. However, she’s quietly confident no one in society knows that. Despite a small group of knuckleheads who believe her brand @’ing on socials means she has lucrative endorsements. She told The Times,

“It’s really important that I project a winning vibe you know. If they knew I was going Dubai-style to fund this holiday they might like, not think I’m winning. And that totally wouldn’t be a vibe”

We spoke to the influencer’s mother who, despite giving her daughter several large loans throughout the year to stop her getting evicted, believed her story. She told The Times,

“She’s in the top 1% of creators, you know. I am not sure what that means but being in the top 1% must mean you’re doing very well. It must be a bit of a down month because she’s asked us to cover her rent for 4 weeks while she takes a break. She works so hard how could we say no?”

On top of having her rent covered, we understand that Zimmerman sent her a very “generous package”. Although a more cynical individual may question how last season’s bikini can help cover the thousands of dollars needed for a euro trip. 

Nevertheless, the influencer is off for her 4th pedicure for the month. Perhaps revealing a clue to part of her funding she told The Times that she had to keep her feet immaculate. In relation to her other source of funding, she said,

“Like, lawyers charge by the hour and they are called professionals. So, I must be a real pro with how much I charge by the hour he he”


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