Freo line commuters urged to exercise extreme caution this week as Royal Show attendees are on the loose 

TransPerth has warned regular commuters to reassess their need to travel via the train network this week given the influx of Royal Show attendees has created a less than serene transport environment.

With kids devouring more sugar than an American with health insurance, there is a serious possibility you may be driven to “severe mental anguish” if you find yourself surrounded and unable to flee until the next stop. 

We spoke to John, a foolish individual who fancied an afternoon commute on the Freo line yesterday. He told The Times,

“As soon as I got on I know I done goofed. It was packed with fully grown bogans belching into the confined space and kids acting like supercharged spider monkeys after someone left the gate open at the fructose farm. It was a living hell”

For his troubles, John ended up with a small but noticeable splashing of fairy floss flavoured kid-spew on his nice white shoes. He also said he smelled odours that attacked his nostrils most unnaturally. 


We spoke to Sarah who also had the idea of catching a late afternoon train yesterday. She told The Times,

“These three kids were just shrieking as loud as they could while the patriarch of the clan fished out a dagwood dog from the bottom of his backpack and laughed when his kids almost knocked an old lady over. He told her – that’s what ya get”

Sarah then had the pleasure of watching the man have a dig in his arse while loudly complaining about the itch. To which his wife responded, “I told ya to keep your pants on around them farm animals!”

Commuters are always urged to reconsider their need to travel via the train network during school holidays but “especially” during Royal Show week. 

RELATED: Grand Final viewer can’t believe he missed out on a day of herding his disgusting kids around an overpriced Royal Show for *that*

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