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Friday, April 10, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all

    The AFP has sensationally dropped all charges against Ben Roberts-Smith after some bloke from Mandurah launched a grammarless tirade against them on Facebook today. In…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 

    A Scabs bachelor on the wrong side of 40 is confident that the girls half his age he habitually tries to converse with are none-the-wiser…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz

    First, it was fuel, now it’s something much bleaker for humanity – a shortage of cheese sausages is imminent in Australia after a ship full…

    Belle April 9, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington

    The President of Peace aka the Rapid Oompa Loompa King has claimed another negotiation victory today declaring a ceasefire between the SOR Perth suburbs of…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed

    The WA Government has revealed the reason the Australind train to Bunbury is taking so long is due to a delay in constructing the Australind…

    Belle April 8, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth man dodges synthetic lawn ban by registering yard as a commercial pizza oven

Belle February 3, 2026

A Perth resident has reacted poorly to the news that he is not permitted to install synthetic lawn on his front yard.  He comes from…

View More Perth man dodges synthetic lawn ban by registering yard as a commercial pizza oven
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Authorities confirm beaches once again usable as children return to school

Belle February 2, 2026

Members of the Western Australian adult population have been assured that the city’s stunning beaches are once again usable as the start of the school…

View More Authorities confirm beaches once again usable as children return to school
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

Ed Sheeran spotted at the OBH with a Butler tan telling everyone it’s gonna be Ipswich’s year lad 

Belle February 1, 2026

“The Tractor Boys are on”, Ed loudly exclaimed as he ordered another “Laaaagerrrr” when it was “his turn to get the beers in” at the…

View More Ed Sheeran spotted at the OBH with a Butler tan telling everyone it’s gonna be Ipswich’s year lad 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Fremantle responds to bridge closures by installing a slackline across the river

Belle January 31, 2026

The world’s longest slackline running from North Fremantle to South Beach will be installed tomorrow when the bridge closes.  The emergency slackline is expected to…

View More Fremantle responds to bridge closures by installing a slackline across the river
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

WA Government to offer a buyback amnesty for all cars with insufferable burble tunes 

Belle January 31, 2026

The Western Australian Government has launched a new initiative to take obnoxious gunshot noises off our streets.  Owners of vehicles with burble tunes or any…

View More WA Government to offer a buyback amnesty for all cars with insufferable burble tunes 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

Homelander has a most elegant solution to the LandCruiser clogging up his scenic Caves Road drive

Belle January 31, 2026

Old mate Homelander is in the South West currently filming a new Netflix surfing show.  To pass some time between shooting, he decided to enjoy…

View More Homelander has a most elegant solution to the LandCruiser clogging up his scenic Caves Road drive

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TRENDING NEWS

  • AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all
  • Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 
  • New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz
  • Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington
  • Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed
  • Cricket Australia Disappointed in Bancroft After Warner Charged with Blowing Numbers

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