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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, March 03, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Perth prepares for possible WW3 the only way it knows how: hoarding toilet paper

    There’s one thing you can bank on when the world is in the grips of instability – the unshakable Perth fear of not having enough…

    Belle March 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Queue at cheaper Perth petrol station Now Stretching to Kalgoorlie

    A potent combination of the conflict in the Middle East, fear mongering and the reputation of petrol companies has created the perfect storm today as…

    Belle March 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Report: man thought it was a good idea to go to Hillarys on a public holiday for some reason

    A local bozo had the bright idea to drag his family to Hillarys today to enjoy a nice relaxing public holiday next to the tranquil…

    Belle March 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend

    A mobile AI traffic camera positioned on the Freeway heading southbound has crashed out under the sheer volume of how much vehicular fuckery it was…

    Belle February 28, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest

    A joint taskforce into Alcoa’s tree cutting shitcuntery in the Northern Jarrah Forest has been launched between State and Federal environmental authorities. Fearing the $55…

    Belle February 27, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

REPORT: Attempts At Post Lunch Beers Productivity Just A Macabre Charade

Belle November 19, 2021 office

Jeremy hasn’t done a fucken thing since about 11:45 this morning when he left his workstation to feast on a tray of leftover pastries in…

View More REPORT: Attempts At Post Lunch Beers Productivity Just A Macabre Charade
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: The Company Golf Day

Belle November 16, 2021 officesports

When you combine a marketing budget with a vague corporate notion of “networking” you get the corporate golf day. Everyone’s favourite tax-deductible piss-up on the…

View More IN FOCUS: The Company Golf Day
Featured Sports, Auto & Hobbies

The Perth Fitness Cougar

Belle November 16, 2021 cougarGym

The unpleasant discharge from muscular Tinder sexpests has polluted gyms and threatened the natural habitat of the lifestyle-fitness birds. Glamorous Western Suburbs cougars were forced…

View More The Perth Fitness Cougar
Work & Study

Ms Uni Exams

Belle November 15, 2021 uni

There were more gaps in Mia’s education than a British toddler’s smile. Lectures were abandoned for vague promises to review the material later, and tutorials…

View More Ms Uni Exams
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Redcliffe Man Pushes Boundaries of BYO By Wheeling in Jumbo Esky Full of Beers

Belle November 14, 2021 Bogansuburbs

Redcliffe man, Jacko wasn’t keen on going to dinner with the misso’s in-laws on his self described “drinkin day”.  Telling “the ol ball & chain”…

View More Redcliffe Man Pushes Boundaries of BYO By Wheeling in Jumbo Esky Full of Beers
Unique & Other

Mr Pilbara Earthquake

Belle November 14, 2021 FIFOkiwimining

Dan was safely asleep in his Belmont dwelling when his FIFO-y senses tingled him out of slumber. He could feel a disturbance in shit-talk-force and…

View More Mr Pilbara Earthquake

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Perth prepares for possible WW3 the only way it knows how: hoarding toilet paper
  • Queue at cheaper Perth petrol station Now Stretching to Kalgoorlie
  • Report: man thought it was a good idea to go to Hillarys on a public holiday for some reason
  • AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend
  • Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest
  • City of Perth confident parking fee hike is a ‘non-issue’ thanks to Perth’s famous love of public transport

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