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Thursday, July 16, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    BHP In Strife as Automated Sparkies Develop Sentience and Also Join the Picket Line

    BHP is having a ‘mare today after the automated sparkies they’d developed to avoid having to pay real ones developed sentience and decided to join…

    Belle July 16, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    England Blames Tougher Brexit Border Controls for Football’s Inability to Come Home

    England vehemently deny that the reason it’s not coming home is because they choked against Argentina. Or any other of their World Cup crash outs.…

    Belle July 16, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    BHP Denies Arrival of Planes Full of New Zealanders Has Anything to Do with Thursday’s Strike

    BHP says the arrival of several QantasLink planes full of Kiwis has absolutely nothing to do with the planned industrial action tomorrow. However, sources close…

    Belle July 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    WA to Take Over Strait of Hormuz to Ensure it Remains Toll-Free

    The world has turned to Western Australia to take control of the clusterfuck happening in the Strait of Hormuz after now Trump has floated the…

    Belle July 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New Planning Reforms to Make It Easier to Build a Granny-Data Centre in Your Backyard

    Western Australia continues to lead the way in planning reform after announcing that red tape would be slashed on landowners seeking to build a granny-data…

    Belle July 14, 2026
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Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms “We’re Engaged”

Belle May 18, 2022

Lauren’s relationship had three basic stages: the 2-week fun bit, the 2 year restructure of her man as a human and an intense 6 months…

View More Ms “We’re Engaged”
BREAKING NEWS Featured

ScoMo To Let West Aussies Dip Into Super For Jet Ski Purchase 

Belle May 16, 2022

In a last-ditch appeal to young WA punters, ScoMo has extended his “Super for Housing” scheme to include the purchase of a jet ski to…

View More ScoMo To Let West Aussies Dip Into Super For Jet Ski Purchase 
Health & Medicine

Ms Self Diganosis

Belle May 16, 2022 HealthMedicine

If whinging about imaginary ailments was an Olympic sport then Eliza must be Complain Bolt. She sets the gold standard in self-diagnosis, hypochondria and dramatic…

View More Ms Self Diganosis
Sports, Auto & Hobbies Unique & Other

The WA Gumtree/Marketplace Pest

Belle May 14, 2022 HobbyShopping

Gavin spots a washing machine for $300 in Yokine. To begin courting the seller he ungracefully mashed the “is this available” button before leaving the…

View More The WA Gumtree/Marketplace Pest
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Man Offers Cash For Positive RAT To Get Out Of Wedding He Doesn’t Want To Go To

Belle May 13, 2022

In a desperate attempt to weasel out of a cousin’s wedding, Perth man, Dan has taken to online marketplaces to make an infected sack of…

View More Perth Man Offers Cash For Positive RAT To Get Out Of Wedding He Doesn’t Want To Go To
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Joop! Limits Imposed At Perth Pubs As Punters Start Moving Inside 

Belle May 13, 2022

Venues across Perth have begun to implement a stricter Joop! policy to protect the increasing number of West Aussies seeking shelter from the Autumn arctic…

View More Joop! Limits Imposed At Perth Pubs As Punters Start Moving Inside 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • BHP In Strife as Automated Sparkies Develop Sentience and Also Join the Picket Line
  • England Blames Tougher Brexit Border Controls for Football’s Inability to Come Home
  • BHP Denies Arrival of Planes Full of New Zealanders Has Anything to Do with Thursday’s Strike
  • WA to Take Over Strait of Hormuz to Ensure it Remains Toll-Free
  • New Planning Reforms to Make It Easier to Build a Granny-Data Centre in Your Backyard
  • Woolworths to Trial Electrified Security Gates to Ensure the Only Crime Is Their Prices

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