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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, July 28, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Blissful Calm to Fall Over Australia as Tin-Foilers Switch Off Their Phones to Avoid AusAlert

    Australia is set to experience a rare yet fleeting calm today as the tin-foil brigade switch off their phones to avoid receiving the AusAlert warning…

    Belle July 27, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Supermarkets Forced to Put Special Notices on Toilet Paper Ahead of Tomorrow’s Emergency Alert Test

    Major Australian supermarkets have been forced to take proactive action to manage toilet paper stock ahead of tomorrow’s AusAlert warning test. Despite the advanced warning…

    Belle July 26, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Owner of Kings Awning Shocked to Learn it Actually Pulls Out

    An owner of a Kings Awning has been left absolutely stunned today after learning the piece of kit bolted to his 4WD permanently actually serves…

    Belle July 25, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Rogue AI Model Self-Terminates After Hacking Perth Smart Freeway Data

    Open AI has conceded that one of its AI models went rogue yesterday and hacked Perth’s smart freeway data. While this is concerning in and…

    Belle July 23, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Fuel Companies thank Australians for sticking by them during tough period of lower petrol prices

    Major fuel companies have personally thanked the Aussie public for their loyalty during a “tough period” of cheaper petrol prices recently. A spokesperson for Big…

    Belle July 22, 2026
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Eliza

Belle May 1, 2021

Eliza is a 2.2m statue that was commissioned by the City of Perth to commemorate the Crawley Baths – back when bobbing around like bull…

View More IN FOCUS: Eliza
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: “Your Mate”

Belle May 1, 2021

Navigating the nuances of the word “mate” is a skill that every Australian acquires through years of dealing with a rich ecosystem of human garbage.…

View More IN FOCUS: “Your Mate”
Work & Study

Mr “Imma Lawyer!”

Belle April 30, 2021 professionalwanker

These days Australia has more lawyers than you’d find in O.J’s living room after receiving the consolation prize of an exquisite set of steak knives…

View More Mr “Imma Lawyer!”
WA Culture & Notable Events

Mrs Supermoon

Belle April 28, 2021

Doreen’s expectations for the pink Supermoon were sky high, so she loaded up the “didn’t pull out-mobile” and drove her family to the Rockingham Foreshore.…

View More Mrs Supermoon
From the Zoo

Donothan v. Mortal Kombat Aussie Casting Call

Belle April 26, 2021

Tiffeaknee yells out to Donothan, “babe they need staunchcunts for the new Mortal Kombat movie”. Donothan has been waiting for this moment. To prepare for…

View More Donothan v. Mortal Kombat Aussie Casting Call
From the Zoo BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown

Belle April 24, 2021

There’s nothing quite like pitching a tent in your backyard to keep the crotch goblins off your god damn back because the camping trip to…

View More IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Blissful Calm to Fall Over Australia as Tin-Foilers Switch Off Their Phones to Avoid AusAlert
  • Supermarkets Forced to Put Special Notices on Toilet Paper Ahead of Tomorrow’s Emergency Alert Test
  • Owner of Kings Awning Shocked to Learn it Actually Pulls Out
  • Rogue AI Model Self-Terminates After Hacking Perth Smart Freeway Data
  • Fuel Companies thank Australians for sticking by them during tough period of lower petrol prices
  • Cricket Australia very Disappointed in Bancroft After Warner Pleads Guilty to Drink Driving

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