ScoMo Spotted Praying That He Didn’t Run Into Any Western Australians During Visit To Perth

ScoMo has recently been spotted praying in Margaret Court’s church. It was originally reported that this was part of an opening ceremony. 

However, evidence has come to light that ScoMo was actually praying he didn’t run into any of the Perth voters who helped oust him from the top job. 

A source close to ScoMo told The Times,

“Yeah he’s pretty anxious about getting caught in some heinous traffic and a car full of good ol WA hooligans giving him a spray that would make an F1 podium look like an old mate grunting at the urinal”

ScoMo is also concerned that he may run into some West Aussies when he embarks on one of his token pub appearances. Especially after his last visit when an over refreshed bloke tried to chuck a slash on him at the bar.

His fears were quite well founded after coming too close to a FIFO worker having a smoke outside Perth Airport. A witness told The Times,

“Old mate obviously got a little lost and wandered too close to the verbal-abuse range of a Hi-Vis bloke sitting down punching a dart. He yelled at the ex-PM -’ didn’t we tell yas to piss off?’ Before starting his advance”

Not only did WA never forgive him for his Clive Palmer bullshit but there’s also some hard feeling over failing to deliver on key election campaign promises. 

A punter on the street told The Times,

“Wasn’t he meant to kickflip off the Telstra exchange? And bring back Chooks? And give us all a couple of d-bangers at the pub? What a tool. I was going to bring the entire family down from Pinjara to watch him fly off that building”

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