Science has finally confirmed what every Perth motorist has known for some time – that the feeling of the stars aligning for you to have a clear shot at beating the train to the next station along the Freeway is unmatched in human experience.
The study looked at the activity in the limbic cortex when people undertook traditional happiness-bringing activities. Including belting one out at work, a cold froff on a warm day, and of course, driving alongside the TransPerth train on the Freeway.
We spoke to the head scientist who said the results of the study were unsurprising but highly welcomed. Adding,
“For a few moments, you feel like you are running with the big dogs. That majestic beast gliding past you and given you’re at 100kph you can keep up for just long enough to need a change of underwear”
The scientist lost himself in the fantasy before coming back to reality, continuing,
“We found that the act of rolling with the locomotion is enough but if you manage to pip the beast at the line when it slows down on the station approach, you get a feeling akin to a healthy dose of smack or being God him or herself”
We took the results of the study to the street to see what people thought. We spoke to a WRX owner who agreed he got a raging turbo-powered stiffy every time a train rolled past him on the Freeway, adding,
“Do you know how rare it is to get a clear run on that piece of shit Freeway? Man, it’s once in a blue moon that you can truly experience the raw pleasure but when you do. Well, let’s just say my blow-off valve goes off, son”
We understand the results of the study will be presented to the world at tourism forums in the future. Perth could soon become one of the go-to destinations to drive next to a train on the Freeway. That’s nothing to sneeze at.
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
