Perth Man Who Has Had A Gutful Of His Car Treats Himself To A Staycation At Crown

A Perth man who bought an Alfa Romeo sports car at the lowest moment of his midlife crisis has had an absolute gutful of the thing and has been on the lookout for an easy insurance job for the better part of 6 months. 

He contemplated taking the car to a local boat ramp but figured the insurance company may get suspicious about why a sportscar was anywhere near the water. He was at a loss until he saw the beautiful news that two lambos got creamed at Crown. He told The Times,

“It’s about as good as it gets. I can probably get my Alfa Shitmeo written off and it won’t even be my fault. My other option was just taking it on the Tonkin Highway but I feel this is probably the safest solution”

Accordingly, the man has rented a hotel room at Crown and opted for their valet service. A small fee he claims compared to how much that piece of fkn shit has cost him over the years. Adding,

“Hey, it’s cheaper than that god damn engine light coming on again. Plus I get to sit by the pool and watch UFC staycationers carry imaginary canoes all weekend. What a blessing”

His car was checked in at about 11 am today, so he expects to be filing his insurance claim sometime this afternoon. He will no doubt give the service a 5 star rating. 

RELATED: Boat Ramps Prepare for Big Day of “Incompetence or Insurance Job” Game

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