WA Agrees To Host Commonwealth Games… If It Can Get Those Skilled Foreigners To Do A Few “Extra Events”

WA has swooped in to save the day after Melbourne sensationally announced it would not be hosting the 2026 Commonwealth Games due to the hefty price tag associated with it. 

Naturally, WA’s offer to host the games wasn’t without a few conditions attached. Specifically, the WA Government will demand the inclusion of a few “extra events” the skilled athletes would need to compete in. A spokesperson told The Times,

“What we have is a highly-skilled, highly fit, highly motivated temporary workforce… Um… we mean, group of athletes coming in. Perfect candidates for new events like bricklaying, plumbing, mine site truck driving, nursing, policing, and well any other skills shortage we currently have which is a lot. A LOT”

We spoke to a 1500m specialist who said he was looking forward to the new events. Adding,

“A WA Government bloke rang me and asked how I’d go on a 2000m foot chase through the Perth CBD of a suspected armed robber. I said I typically train for the 1500. They told me the event could be over in 1500 if I got a hurry on. Now that’s motivation. I think I can be a gold medallist”

Similarly, a marathon runner said he had the right sort of stamina to handle a double nursing shift due to chronic understaffing. Adding,

“It’s a challenge but I think I have enough in the tank to get through a shift. They said I could win as many gold medals as I wanted because I could do the event every day. This is my time to shine”

On top of the new events, WA will be offering every athlete a 5 year visa. Provided they agree to stay until the job is done. 

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