BREAKING: Perth Man Wanting $500 Cash Out At Pub Isn’t Fooling Anyone

A rambunctious Perth man has attempted to get $500 cash out at a busy central pub this evening. Reports have come in that everyone in the vicinity of the request raised an eyebrow and didn’t buy what he was selling. 

His reason for such a large amount of money? His mate had to get a Taxi back to Subi and he thought he’d help him out. A witness told The Times,

“It was definitely for a bag. He’s been walking around the venue asking everyone if they know anyone with bags. Then he found someone with bags and told the bloke he’d be back when he got the cash”

Defiant to the end, the reveller told The Times that it was perfectly normal to ask for $500 cash out at 8pm and that “cash was king”. Adding,

“Can’t a bloke support the cash economy without getting accused of wanting to buy drugs? It’s just a pure coincidence it’s the average price of a bag. I like cash so back off mate. By the way, do you know anyone with cheaper bags?”

The bartender who spoke to him was in disbelief. Telling The Times,

“Which pub in Perth does cash out like that? What was he thinking? Go to the ATM you idiot. He’s just putting a target on his back tbh”

We can happily report that after going to an ATM, the man in question no longer has any cash in his possession. He proved his haters right. 

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