Andrew “Twiggy” Forrest has wasted no time offering Mark McGowan a lucrative job “on the moines” after the WA Premier announced he would be stepping down from his role by the end of the week. news comes as another mining magnate is considering legal action to become the Member For Rockingham.
A spokesperson for FMG told The Times that Twiggy would need to see what Mark was made of on a 2:1 drilling swing before moving him up to the boardroom to be of invaluable use to the company. Adding,
“Not everyone is cut out for the moines. Mark would be a great fit in our boardroom but Twiggy just doesn’t trust anyone who hasn’t felt the cruel whip of the FIFO lifestyle”
We understand that Marko has spent the afternoon looking into the required tickets for the job. A source close to the exhausted leader told The Times,
“Obviously the moines are no place for an exhausted man. So Marko will probably turn down Twiggy’s offer of a drilling role and look into driving a truck up there for the first month. He just wants to sit on his arse in air conditioning after such an intense job ya know?”
Beyond getting the relevant tickets, Marko has already picked up a pretty serious vape habit in anticipation of his new life making stacks of cash. A staffer told The Times,
“He’s just pacing around his office vaping. Keeps saying he just wants to go and get a dog up him at the Qantas lounge. I’ve never seen such a fast transition tbh”
Marko has until the end of the week to negotiate a new job with Twiggy before the other vultures come circling.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?