Awful Perth family prepares to transition from Up North holiday pests to Down South holiday pests as dry season ends

A truly awful Perth family has thoroughly not enjoyed their dry season adventures in the Pilbara & Kimberley and have made sure to let every local know along their way. 

Over the season, the family had embarked on several road trips coinciding with long weekenders and school holidays. To show their appreciation, they’ve left a devastating trail of bad reviews for campsites, motels, roadhouses, and tourist attractions in their wake. 

However, as the dry season ends and the wet season approaches, the family has decided to take their tourist dollar down south. Where the weather is cooler in summer and the fly situation is somewhat more manageable. 

Truly, one regional WA hub’s loss is another gain. With the South West preparing to enjoy the family of unsatisfiable land-dugongs who will be judging its hospitality and attractions along the way. 

We spoke to the matriarch of this disgusting clan who said she couldn’t wait to get in the face of a seasonal winery worker to demand a top-up of her tastings, adding,

“There’s so much to complain about Up North but we just feel we’ve done it all. Plus who can be bothered ruining a tour operator’s day in the heat of a Kimberley summer. No, we’ll be much more comfortable Down South for the next several months we think”

To get into the spirit of things, the family has been reviewing some of their complaints from last year to check up on whether progress had been made. The dripping lump they call dad told The Times,

“I’m just going to resend this email about making the car park at Meelup Beach bigger. Last year we had to walk about 100m and that’s pretty bloody ordinary if you ask me. I don’t care if it’s peak season we are VIPs and the entire region will become familiar with that fact again”

By all reports, locals and businesses in the South West can’t wait! And the locals Up North are just counting down the days until the wet season ends and they can welcome the family back into their lives. 

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