WA is truly an all you can holiday buffet. With some of the best spots in Australia. Alas its tourists aren’t always as pure as its sights. Let’s have a look at some of the major players.
Rotto – your boat is 80% of your personality. You strongly wish Rotto would become part of the Golden Triangle and you could stop the “ferry people” from mixing with you while you do Rotto properly. You break into a rash around SOR residents. More on Rotto tourists HERE.
Albany – your idea of excitement is buying a different packet of bickies to go with your afternoon tea. You like your holidays in spots so lowkey that even the sun decides to give it a miss most days. You don’t value your car’s wheel alignment.
Balingup – when you go on holiday you truly want to get away. Away from the crowds, away from pollution, and most importantly away from reality. You still haven’t fully recovered from that time a farmer let off a few rounds while you were foraging in the valley off your tits on shrooms. A couple more doses should help the healing. Blast off HERE.
Margaret River – your idea of getting away from Perth is migrating down south with everyone else from Perth and creating a mini Perth for two weeks. You’d probably prefer to stay in Perth but that Landcruiser’s capabilities aren’t going to barely use themselves.
Yallingup – you love to tell people you’ve taken up surfing but after 45 minutes of looking out at the swell you suddenly have a sore shoulder. You also like the metaphor of being on a hill, to look down on those who can’t afford Yallingup.
Eagle Bay – you’re only happy when you’re holidaying in the most exclusive spots, or you’re helping to turn the area into an Airbnb hotspot where hordes of the unwashed pool their pitiful finances together to drag the area down.
Cervantes – you’re a BCF weekend warrior on the hunt to catch a new Tinder photo. The Department of Fisheries knows you by name after dealing with your bullshit each year. That Dhuey in your current pic was caught by a far more skilled angler. You could also be a geologist creaming themselves over The Pinnacles.
Broome – you don’t much care to burden yourself with pesky tidal information. You’ll also have a listing on FB Marketplace for a “barely” used 4WD used for city driving. Its 8 hour salt bath stays between you and everyone on the beach giving you shit. More on Broome HERE.
Kalbarri – you just bought a new drone with a camera and couldn’t be bothered dealing with the neck-scarinati in Collie. You’ll get upset if someone says you’re just there fore the skywalk though, you also need a new profile photo of yourself in Nature’s Window. More on drone tourism HERE.
Mandurah – you’re scoping out a retirement home and couldn’t be bothered going to Albany. When you’re not franking your credits you’re quite partial to the contents of someone else’s crab pot.
Bunbury – you’re laying low after a ram raid in Armadale and needed a holiday spot with as much quality gear as back home. Alternatively, you’re just stuck in the Farmers Market car park and have decided that’s where you’ll set out camp.
Esperance – you are no stranger for going great distances for something beautiful. Which could explain your regular South East Asia runs. You dirty old hounddog. There’s no threat of anyone coming a’knocking when that caravan is rocking.
Falcon – you enjoy hobnobbing with SOR royalty. Your folk’s shack has been the host of countless end of season footy bashes and you’re no stranger to a road rage attack in Halls Head on your way two and from your little slice of paradise.
Lancelin – your confidence greatly outweighs your ability when it comes to “sending it”. Whether it’s your Patrol over the dunes or your face into some hot sand coming off your board without any eye protection. You love it.
Kalgoorlie – let’s just say when you watch the battle of mordor you aren’t rooting for the elves and humans. A true animal that almost certainly won’t remember a single minute of their holiday. Just the way you like it.
RELATED: How To Have A Magical Weekend In Kalgoorlie
Cheers for reading! Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
