NFL Braces For Impact As Lou Hedley Promises To Bring “Big Mandurah Tradie Energy” To the League

The NFL isn’t short of a few intimidating figures. From men built like a 1970s Kelvinator to the likes of Michael Vick who proved it was the size of the fight in the dog. A bit too literally, mind you. Alas, the question remains – are they ready for Mandurah?

WA boy Lou Hedley started out as a scaffie and believes he can bring many of the lessons he learned on Mandurah building sites to the NFL. A source close to the star told The Times,

“If you can boot a site radio off the top level for playing Triple J you can boot a pig skin a quarter mile. That’s the thing about Mandurah buildings sites you always have to be ready to defend yourself and what better tool to use than your steel caps?”

Similarly, years in the scaff game have accustomed Lou Hedley to holding his own against enormous men. In particular, his islander coworkers from the big white cloud. Although not that common for a punter to have to make a tackle, one of his old site buddies said he was ready. Adding,

“Churrr G, he’s not a small guy himself but he’s a bit leaner but that means you gotta be meaner G! I’ve seen him hold his own against a bunch of us trying to muscle him out of the way for the last Woolies roast chook. He’s got it in him”

Not only does Lou have a fearsome Mandurah pedigree but he also spent a portion of his life tattooing turbos in Bali. Another profession not for the faint of heart. We spoke to a turbo who told The Times,

“ A lot of bikies like to get their tatts done in Bali and they can be hard to please. You gotta have nerves of steel to tattoo a turbo on the brink of a roid rage outburst. Lou is that man. He’ll do very well in the NFL”

Lou joins a prestigious list of gentlemen putting that particular pocket of WA on the map for Americans. Including Sam Worthington & Luke Travers from Rocko. Naturally, Americans are cautioned from actually going to these areas.

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