BREAKING: Future Matilda’s Games To Be Given High Blood Pressure Warnings

Australia’s leading doctors have called for a warning to those suffering high blood pressure before the next Matilda’s game.

The warning comes after a tense, fingernail biting display against France where the teams kept each other scoreless and forced the game to penalties. A game that ran an absolute tension-train on the hearts & minds of millions of adoring fans. Many falling into a sweaty mess throughout most of it.

We spoke to a Matilda’s fan who said she was floating somewhere between a heart attack and an anxiety attack for the bulk of the 3 hour game. She told us,

“When France were denied their goal I thought I had been resurrected in a sense. When I saw that get headed in I thought it was all over for me. Don’t get me started on every time Mary Fowler took a shot, oh boy, and the Derby is coming up next!”

Unsuprisingly, fans were dragged on a rollercoaster of emotion during the penalties also. Especially with Arnold’s second save after coming off her line. It was truly down to the wire.

Not only does the blood pressure warning apply to fans who might find the spectacle too much but also to the haters who have absolutely blown their top seeing the popularity of women’s soccer explode this World Cup. A doctor told The Times,

“Some of these blokes are getting pretty furious for no reason. We would suggest they take a walk, get some fresh air and calm down. Naturally, they won’t and we expect emergency departments to be filled to the brim after the Matilda’s getting up”

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