Saffa’s launch coup to claim the North after the Brit population descends on Perth this evening

The Perth Saffa population has wasted no time staking their claim to the Northern burbs as the exhibition match between West Ham and Tottenham draws the British residents away from their NOR fortress. 

Saffas from Iluka to Two Rocks have been seen in great numbers living it up in the vast sprawl with some declaring that it’s Lil Cape Town now. We spoke to Hanse who told The Times,

“Look at me boy, ah k, I am the captain now, ja? The Saffas have taken our opportunity to be the most obnoxious ex-Pat group in the far north and we won’t be giving that up without a fight!”

Pubs, restaurants, and assorted entertainment businesses have confirmed the coup d’état. We spoke to an owner of a fish & chip shop who said a man calling himself Herschel came in hot. Adding,

“This guy who looked like he was dressed for bird watching came in and asked me if we’d consider adding a battered Boerewors to the menu. I asked him wtf was that and he asked me if I wanted to find out why they call him the power of one”

The few English residents who remained behind claim to feel outnumbered but warn the Saffas that you don’t want to get between a returning British populace that’s been firing up on “football” chants and shit beer. One told The Times,

“They fookn want it? Well, let’s fookn ‘ave it lad! It’s fookn comin’ome on the Joondalup line in just a few hours innit? The Norf is ours and all that lad”

We reached out to the Kiwi community who said they are willing to side with the winner of this battle. 

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