WA Liberals Channel The English Spirit of Cricket and Declare They Really Won Seat of Rockingham

Labor retained the seat of Rockingham last night after Magenta Marshall won 50% of the primary vote. Streaks ahead of Liberal candidate Peter Hudson (17.65%) and independent Hayley Edwards (14.89%).

On paper, it looks like a Labor victory but if the English cricket team has taught us anything it’s that winning is now subjective. Accordingly, the WA Liberal Party is celebrating a “significant victory” in the seat of Rockingham. An insider told The Times,

“The WA Liberals just played a more exciting brand of campaigning. I think when the voting public looks at the seat of Rockingham they’ll think of the genius of the liberals. Changing the way WA politics is played. That’s a 17.65% landslide to us”

Others are claiming that Labor “cheated” by utilising Marko’s star power to help the campaign. Despite such endorsements being completely within the laws of the election game. A source told The Times,

“WA Labor using the fact they have a popular ex-leader and actually have a presence in WA Parliament is cheap, populist tactics. WA Liberals would never try to claim they have a popular leader or more than a handful of seats in Parliament. Now that’s cricket!”

We can reveal that English captain Ben Stokes has personally reached out to the WA Liberals and Peter Hudson to pledge his support. He told The Times,

“I told them they had a great attitude and having looking back on the 2021 election, I told them that they actually won that too. Why are they focusing on how many seats were won? That’s just small thinking innit?”

Congratulations to the WA Liberals on their victory last night. The evidence is overwhelming.

RELATED: Clive Palmer Commences High Court Action To Become Member For Rockingham, Premier

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

$