Perth can be a powerful teacher if you are ready to accept its lessons.
1. Burswood – if your personality lacks substance just overcompensate by being “fun”.
Burswood is technically a suburb but pretty much is just a stadium, race track, casino, and a brewery. There’s also a dicey traino so you can be fun and dangerous, daddy.
2. Maylands – people can change.
It’s hard to think of a suburb that’s had such a massive turnaround like Maylands. Formerly the kind of place you’d buy a little gear with the money from pawning your mum’s telly, now a rich, gentrified burb that everyone wants a slice of. More on reformed Maylands HERE.
3. Westminster – never underestimate the power of a rebrand
rebrands can really go either way. Elon’s X didn’t hit while Balga splitting into two and creating Westminster was a straight-out slam dunk. Reinvent yourself today. More on this ultimate rebrand HERE
4. Ellenbrook – there’s always a catch
One can only imagine the joy the isolated Ellenbrookian population felt when they were first promised a train line. Alas, there’s always a catch, in this case, the project would be some decades overdue. Always side-eye a promise. More on Ellenbrook HERE.
5. Morley – you can’t resist change forever
Seeing Morley dragged into the modern age (about 1990 atm) has been disheartening but a healthy reminder that you can’t resist the relentless march of time. No Sizzler, no Blockbuster, and a god damn Aldi. sad! More on Morley HERE.
6. High Wycombe – worlds will always collide
If you said you were going to connect the western burbs to the east in the 90s they would’ve sent in the military. Now a High Wycombe resident can catch one train to the Golden Triangle. The barbarians aren’t just at the gate, they have busted through. More on embracing the High Wycombe lifestyle HERE.
7. Mount Claremont – it’s fine to ride coattails
Mount Claremont has an average house price not dissimilar to its rockstar older brother Claremont. Despite being a fairly bland suburb compared to C-mont, which has a foreshore, a shopping district, and an entertainment precinct, the works. Guess that answers the question, “what’s in a name?”
8. Baldivis – Australians are apparently hard to live near
Baldivis has burst into the scene as Perth premier exPat utopia. Taking out top honours in the Brit and Saffa category and no doubt nipping on the hills of the Kiwi crown. Makes you wonder, are Australians that insufferable?
9. Subiaco – if you chase popularity don’t expect loyalty
Subi is like that former high flyer that made some dodgy dealings, got divorced, and has been struggling to get its shit together since. Sure it used to be one of the hottest spots in town but that reputation has all but faded and now it’s struggling to get people to come around. Mostly because the fridge is filled with 3-day old takeaways and depression.
10. Willetton – people will use you, given the chance
Willo is hot property but not because of its own unique, quirky traits but for the big thicc school its packing. Poor Willo. People are so desperate for a slice that they’ll even pretend to live there. If only they loved Willo for Willo ;(. More on Willo HERE.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
